Quote – Zeen

A Tangle of Knots is a really interesting book. I took it out of its shelf because I was drawn by its cover – yeah, I’m one of those bookworms who’s a sucker for beautiful covers – but what do you know, it’s actually filled with surprises. The plot twists, the revelations were fantastic. It makes you wonder how a suitcase could cause such a mess but uncover the truth at the same time. I wonder what kind of knot they are for them to be entangled with each other’s lives?

Frustration can’t be avoided when we’re reading a book. Agree with me or not, but there will always be one or two characters that make you want to scream at them so that they could make the right decisions.

Zane is a masterpiece of frustration for me. I understand that he’s an eleven-year-old kid and he doesn’t know the difference between right and correct, but if his mindset won’t change as he grows older, he will need some help.

The Owner is also a piece of art. It’s a great talent we have there Mr. Owner, but that is not how you should use it. Perhaps if he and Miss Mallory worked together, they could have made a lot of people happy.

I think I spoiled enough.

A lesson I learned from this book is that Fate does not define us but the way we deal with the things life gives us do. Being a good person doesn’t mean bad things will not happen to us, but it just means that while we are suffering, someone out there will also help us and give light in our darkest times.

We are connected in a way we don’t know. Who knows, maybe the person reading this knows someone that I also know in a way we don’t expect it to be.

Life is the grandest adventure once can go on
Lisa Graff (A Tangle of Knots)

You see, life is the biggest adventure we have to take on, so get out there and live your life – and maybe read this book when you stumble upon it.

‘Til Next Time,

Zeen

I always see this meme on Facebook that says “bente-singko ka na, hindi ka pa rin pinapayagang gumala” (you’re already twenty-five, but you’re still not allowed to go out). I hate to admit it, but I’m one of those who failed to achieve freedom. I wasn’t allowed to go out by myself, and if I was, I need to notify my family weeks or days before the scheduled day. I understand their sentiments – they’re only concerned with my safety – so I always take the “no” with a light heart when I was a minor.

Time went by and I’m already of legal age to make decisions for myself. They encourage me to socialize, go out with friends and do the things I love. But the thing is… whenever I plan to ask permission, my mind always tells me “don’t bother, they might say no“. I think that I might be inconveniencing them if I do – that it’s unfair of me going out while they’re cooped up in their house. That is why every time my friends invite me to go out without any prior notice, I feel like I don’t have the slightest chance to get out.

I always tell myself that this day – month, year – will be different. I will live my life and not listen to any thoughts my mind will feed me, but in the end, I let it control me again. I let it succumbed me to false scenarios that will well… not happen.

I don’t know why my mind is thinking like this. My Psychology major part is telling me that I’m afraid of being rejected. Those past years of not allowing me to go out are catching up to me despite taking it with a light heart – the mind is a very complicated part of the body, who knows what it’s thinking (no pun intended). Another part of me is telling me that it’s because I live with my relatives right now, and I don’t want to endanger them if I ever go out and get infected.

Writing that last part, I remembered something my aunt said. I’m not living with her, but that statement still made a huge impact on my life. It made me realize that I might be selfish if I decided to chase my freedom now of all times – with COVID-19 rampaging with its new variants every now and then. They were only concerned for their and their kids’ safety.

I can’t and won’t go out for the sake of everybody’s safety. I can still do things that I’ve always wanted to do to keep me sane and feel as if I’m doing something remarkable – something the future me would thank me for.

You can only feel freedom when you are by yourself.

Being with my family actually sucks. It feels like I have a leash on my neck and I’m being kept on surveillance. With me alone, I don’t have anyone whom I have to worry about. I can finally breathe because no one is watching and judging my every move.

But with freedom comes a price. It always does. Right now, if the universities will release a memorandum that they are going to have a face-to-face class, I will be trading my comfort for freedom. It will be tough, considering I was born with a silver spoon on my mouth – not lifting a finger for chores, but I can get my comfort back once I settle in. It will be just a temporary inconvenience on my part.

If I truly want to live and not just exist, I have to live alone.

‘Til Next Time,

Zeen

Quotes

A Tangle of Knots

Freedom